Strangers in a Parking Lot

Sometimes, living in a big city can be discouraging. I usually don't watch the local evening news because so much of it is about robbery, rape, child abuse, elder abuse, murder, road rage, police car chases and the newest drug bust in the neighborhood. I can become fearful and mistrusting of people if I only view them through the lens of what I see on t.v.

Most neighbors here don't know each other - and are barely civil to each other if they do. Communities are imploding because of racial tensions, common courtesies like giving bus seats to pregnant ladies and old men are rarely seen. I miss the mid-west and the common values we grew up with: courtesy, respect, honesty, integrity...what I took for granted as "normal behavior" growing up, now shocks me when I see it.

Yesterday, I shared an experience with four strangers that renewed my hope in human decency.

As I was walking to my car in a grocery store parking lot, I saw three people (next to my car) surrounding an elderly gentleman trying to persuade him not to get in his car and drive away. At first, I thought that he had hit my car (or done something else wrong) and they were preventing him from fleeing the scene. After I checked out my bumper, and saw that it was okay, I listened in on their conversation to find out what the story was.

I saw that the old man was frightened and confused and wanted to get in his car --but the three strangers were insisting that he call someone for help. They had found him crumpled on the ground behind his vehicle, where he had passed out as he was putting his groceries in the trunk.

He was now up and walking but a little dazed. He wouldn't let them call for an ambulance and seemed too confused to give a phone number of a family member who could come and get him. I stayed to see if I could help in any way. After several attempts of trying to find a solution to which he was agreeable, I asked him if he would like me to drive him home and send someone he knew to retrieve his car from the parking lot. He seemed to like that idea best, so I offered him my arm to lean on, and the three strangers helped me guide him toward my car.

We had only walked a few feet when he fainted again- on me! The strangers helped me ease him onto the ground. The woman called 911, one man ran to get a manager at the store, and another man helped me tend to the old man who fainted. As I knelt on the ground holding a stranger on my lap, I looked around and saw all these wonderful people around me showing care and compassion to an 80 year old man who was all alone and very vulnerable.

In a moment, we were no longer strangers passing each other impersonally in the grocery store parking lot but we were neighbors united in a single purpose - to help another person in need.

As we were waiting for the paramedics to arrive, I sat there holding this old man's hand - and thinking that I rarely spend time with old people. The hands I usually hold are small and young. For the past 23 years, I've been at the other end of the spectrum - having babies, caring for toddlers and raising children: investing in brand new people with beautiful bright eyes, fresh healthy skin, strong bones and energetic bodies. Here was a man now at the end of his life. His hands were rough and weathered. At one time he had been young, strong, vibrant, handsome, independent - now his eyes were dim, skin wrinkled, body weak, and health diminished. I wondered what he was like when he was in college - or a newlywed - or when he was 40. What was his wife like when she was alive? Where were his kids?

And, as we sat there on the ground next to my car, I wondered what it will be like when I'm 80 years old. Will I be a widow living all alone? Where will my kids be?
Would there be time in my future, when I am alone and vulnerable, dependent on strangers in a parking lot?

The ambulance arrived, the old man was taken to the hospital, and the strangers and I said goodbye to each other. We never exchanged names, but we made a connection - we shared a moment of compassion and care for another human. We loved our neighbor - together.